Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Infertile Does Not Equal InCOMPLETE ~

A lot of comfort can be drawn from the written word. In writing there is a release, in the reading there is a connection. So, here I am.

Infertility is a disease. It affects 1 in every 10 couples. It is painful and if you aren't careful it CAN end up tearing you up from the inside out. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Not all of us are meant to be parents. You are not going to believe this... but not ALL women are put here to reproduce. Society has built this up for us as an expectation of our woman-hood. What are we worth as women if we cannot bear children? Well, I happen to think that I am worth a heck of a lot more than the viability of my uterus. I wish all women out there dealing with this issue could see themselves in that light; to see MORE.

There are some things in life that we can choose... our friends, our mates, movies, music and the like. At the heart of it... the reality of infertility is that it takes the choice of reproducing away from us. Sure, we can pursue medical procedures and adoption. There are still choices and options. We cannot "choose" to start a family... like some couples can.

And that is ok. Yes, I said it, It's OK.

It's OK if you can't have a baby. It's OK if the chlomid, hormone shots, IUI's and the IVF's don't work. It's ok if you can't seem to find an adoption match.

You know why?

You are MORE than your ability to reproduce. You STILL have a purpose here on this earth.

I had a very toxic friend who used to say to me "I just don't know how you deal with it; I wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning." It was her opinion that life just wouldn't be worth living if her uterus wouldn't cooperate with her. Why was mine worth living unless I could call myself a mother?

See here's the thing. We are not all on the same path. You may be meant to mother... I may not be. I may be meant to be a wife, an aunt, a volunteer, a mentor, a big sister. My life's path is all of these and more.

I used to say that money was the root of all evil, but now I believe that expectations are. Expectations create disappointment. Why can't we be grateful for our own life force? Accept the gifts that we are given upon this earth and make the best of it. We do not always have to bend fate to our will. There are times when acceptance is healing and it's important to be happy in the present moment, in your own circumstance. We are all given our battles for a reason. I truly believe that. Embrace them, accept them....... conquer them. Don't sacrifice today for an unknown tomorrow.


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